It's been awhile since I updated huh?

Been busy in munchkin land. I took the kiddos to see Thomas the Train a few weeks ago. Wild Man is just a little obsessed. Poor little guy. We stopped at Bojangles on the way out of town and I got them both something to drink. The drive to Spencer, NC was about an hour away and wouldn't you know it...RIGHT before we got there he had an accident. But Mommy to the rescue. I changed him and then we were off to see Thomas and ride trains all day. They were in heaven.

Labels: vacation

I have been accused of being a troll. Yes, sweet little ol’ me. :) I am not going to post the accusers blog or any other indentifying information, for which these accusations come. I will, however, give you a little background.

I read several blogs. Many more than I should actually. One such blog is near and dear to my heart. Well, this blogger has a sister. A sister that many revere as a blogging-goddess of sorts. To hear them all comment on her you would think that she has sunshine and daisies flying out of her ass. However, to hear her sister’s take on the whole situation is a completely different scenario. Even before I knew the whole sibling situation, I didn’t really like “the other sister”. Her blog, to me is condescending and rude to many people, even though I don’t think that she usually means them to be that way. But since I don't know either in real life, it is one side against the other. I just happened to choose a different side.

I know what you might be thinking. Why do I even bother to read her blog if I hate her so much? The answer… I don’t hate her. I wish that things were different between her and her family but I am not remotely involved so I really could care less. I don’t wish for violent or terrible things to happen to her or her family. She also has some really good recipes sometimes. What I do wish is that she would pull the giant stick that is up her ass out and let the past go and make up with her sister already. But that is ultimately between them and it is only hurting them when they continue to allow things to go on that way they have been for many years. That and I wish she didn’t come off as being all high and mighty all the time. But eh, that is just my opinion and it is her blog so she can write whatever she wants however she wants. Just like I can comment that I don’t agree with her or like what she has to say. That is why they invented turning the comments off. Come one come all I say!

I have commented on her blog several times. And those comments weren’t the usual “You are so great” blah blah blah that she has become accustom to in her years of blogging. They weren’t necessarily all that ugly (I have seen and received some rather nasty ones myself) but they didn’t blow smoke up her ass either. I have to admit that part of it was to stick up for my friend or cause her just a tiny bit of distress for the emotional turmoil that my friend was being subjected to. But I never harassed or threatened her. I just let it be known that I didn’t think that she was all that and a bag of chips like everyone else. I have never called this person out here on my blog or posted her blog address or personal information for all to see. She has, however, done that to me. After one such disapproving comment, she posted my blog name and blog address for all her loyal followers to see. I personally believe that it was so they would come and attack me, as she felt that she was being attacked. Funny thing is…not one person left any comments on what a horrible person I am. So maybe I am not as evil and jealous as she thinks I am?

Anyway. Last week she posted something along the lines of she and her husband had a tiff because she wanted to spend time with her husband but insinuated that she would rather go to the gym (or somewhere) and she and her husband had another long discussion about her not getting enough me time [paraphrased of course]. She is a stay at home mom and wanted out of the house. While I completely understand needing some me time, from reading her posts she does a hell of a lot without her kids in tow (she said her self she gets out of the house around 3 times a week). My perception of the post (and at least a few others if I understood the comments correctly) was that she was whining that she had to stay home instead of going out. This hit a cord with me since I can’t remember when the last time was that I got to go somewhere without the kids and husband on a regular basis. But that isn’t the point of this post. Once I (and a few others) left a post on the contrary, out came the ugly comments and the "leave me alone if you can’t agree with me" replies. Then she started posting about cyber stalking, retribution, and litigation for harassment over the internet. And is it a coincidence that this punished person is from the same state as me? Or that the comment for the original naysayer is still posted on her blog, but my comments (which were no where as “rude” as the original poster) are MIA? Supposedly her “lawyer friend” passed along this tidbit of information for her. (Wow! I should be a lawyer as it took me all of 10 seconds to google the same article).

Here’s the thing that burns my ass. I haven’t ever threatened her or her family any harm in any way, shape, or form. Aggravate? I am sure I have based on her reaction. And I have only commented on her blog a few times. I have never made false accusations, traced her IP address and followed her around the internet, looked up her address and phone number, encouraged others to harass by disclosing personal information, ordered anything in her name, etc. By stating that she has looked up a name, address, and phone number illustrates that she too is stalking. It is a two way street there darlin’. Could I be sued? I highly doubt it.

I am sure that she will come on here and read this. I didn’t post this “to get back” her. I just want to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all. Do I expect some hate mail/comments? Sure. Do I care? No. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. Think what you will. This is an open and public blog. I can’t control what people comment here other than denying the comment or deleting it all together. In a perfect world, a blogger could post a “Be Nice or Go Away” disclaimer, but since it is a public forum anything you publish on the internet is open for discussion. Why waste your breath. If I didn’t want peoples opinions (good and bad), I wouldn’t ask for them.

Labels: Issues

Here the reply that I got today from the Music Director:

"Hi ,
I talked with the girls about the situation the last few weeks. They shared that they were overwhelmed trying to help WM connect with the group since they had some many other little ones to teach at the same time. I believe you spoke with L last week. She says she never meant to imply that you should not bring your kids back. She was just offering a possibility that maybe a few more months would give WM some time to be able to handle the program when he is a just a little bit older and maybe he’d be more interested at that time. But of course the choice is totally up to you! They said that DQ was doing wonderful and seemed to really enjoy the choir. I’d hate for her to have to miss out too. Thank you for sharing your concerns with me. Please know that WM and DQ are both welcome. My personal thoughts (even though I’m not there to see any of it!) are maybe let DQ continue and then see if WM is a little more interested after Christmas. But again – do what you think is best. The most important thing to us is that we teach our kids to sing about Jesus. We’ll do that the best ways we can.

Thanks again for letting me know about everything. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help. grace and peace".

I am sad. That's the only emotion I can feel right now. I fight back the tears as I sit here at work. I was so looking forward to seeing my little ones sing and participate in the plays. I am glad that DQ is still small enough that she won't notice that we aren't going to choir anymore. I just can't justify letting her do choir AND dance while WM gets to do nothing. Not to mention I don't have the time or the money for gas to be running back and forth two nights in a row.

AM and I have talked about it and we are going to revisit our old church. The main reason we left was because of the lack of opportunity for our kids. But the "bigger and better" church has left us out in the cold too many times. At least those at our original church seemed to care about us and wanted us around. Going to church shouldn't take this much effort to belong. At least that is how I feel.

And to top it all off, I just called Time Warner Cable and even though they have a damn line running in my yard I can't get service with them. So I am stuck with crappy cable, no high speed cable, and a too high bill that will be going up in a matter of months just so I can watch Basic Plus cable on all my TV's. Either that of spend another $1000 on new TV's. :sigh:

What a great way to start out the week :(

Labels: Issues, Wildman

I just heard back from the Music Director. Below is her response and a copy of the email that I sent:

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This is not acceptable for either the teachers to tell you that or for your kids to have to quit without a chance. I am meeting with all the teachers this Sunday afternoon for planning. I will investigate and get back with you next week if that’s ok. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

Music Director

From: Me [mailto:elleoz0112@yahoo.com] Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2008 9:28 AMTo: mailto:You@comporium.net: Concern

Music Director,

I just wanted to let you know that I am pulling DQ and WM from the children's choir program. I was told by the teachers that WM is a disruption to the other children and it would be better if he didn't continue to come to class. To say that I am disappointed is an understatement. I understand that WM can be a "lot of boy" at times and he might not be ready to participate in something like the program, but I also feel like the situation wasn't handled approriately. For the last three weeks, the teacher has told me of "issues" with him.

Three Wednesday's ago, it was pointed out that he had an accident and had to go potty during class. I do take my children to the bathroom just prior to the start of class, but he is three and when he has to go he can't hold it. I didn't feel that this really needed to even be brought up but I let it slide. Two Wednesday's ago WM was having a bad day and he didn't do well in class and refused to share. This was inappropriate behavior on his part and I had a long talk with him and he had priveldges taken away for being bad. In this instance, I completely understand the concern. Then last night, I kept a close eye on him through the window to see what was going on. About halfway through the class I noticed that he was climbing in the chairs and wasn't participating. Since I wasn't in the classroom, I am not sure how much interaction the teachers were having with him since I wasn't watching from the beginning. However, from a mother's perspective it seems that the teachers had given up on him several weeks ago. He is in daycare full time and they have different activities (to include music) and he sits still and participates without any problems. I appears to me (as an outside parent) that he was never given a chance to get comfortable with the teachers and no one took the time to try to bond with him and get him to participate. I realize that it is a short class, but with children that young I would expect the leaders of the class to be able to try to nurture those that have a hard time a little. Maybe I have too high expectations. I would have been more than willing to try to get him more involved or sat in the class with him to try to get him to particiapte, but I was never given the opportunity to try to come up with any other solution other than to stop bringing him. I don't see a point in bringing DQ and not WM. That would just be adding salt to the wound.

Anyway, thank you for the opportunity and I wish your program continued success.

Me

Labels: Issues

Well, not exactly church but church activity none the less. Wild Man apparently is living up to his nickname and can no longer attend children’s choir at our church. They just started a new program for all the children to learn songs weekly and perform them once a month for the congregation. They even wear matching shirts…how cute. I was really excited when I found out about the program. Both my kids love to sing and they love going to the church so I thought it would be a great opportunity. And I really wanted to find something for WM to do, since his sister is now taking dance classes. Perfect opportunity right? I thought so too. Classes started about a month ago. The first two classes seemed to have gone well. No bad reports and both kids seemed happy. Then about 3 weeks ago, the teacher started speaking to me right after class about my son. The first time it was about him having an accident during class. I always take them to go potty right before class so that they don’t have to stop to go to the bathroom during the 45 minute session. As usual, I took them to the bathroom and dropped them off in the classroom. I found a nice quiet spot and read some more of my book. When class was over, I went to pick them up and she had this look on her face and told me that he had had an accident during class and they had to take him to the potty. I looked at him and was a little confused. He still had on the same clothes and they didn’t seem soiled to me. She stated that he had to go #2 and had diarrhea (Sorry if TMI). In the back of my mind I thought it was a little absurd to even bring it up but I let it go. I realize that my children’s bathroom habits aren’t fun times for others, but he is three for goodness sake! At least he told you he had to go and didn’t go in his pants. If that was the case, I would completely be disgusted too. Heaven forbid a parent and/or leader of the church should have to assist a young child under their watch. I just looked at her, told her thanks and went home. I really still don’t see what the crime was in the whole thing. The second instance was last week. I’ll admit that WM was having a bad day. He had already gotten in trouble at school for not sharing his toys. It is something that we are having to work on. He has a really bad temper at times. Anyway, I was hoping that he had gotten past it and would have a good time at choir. Apparently not so much. After class, I was again confronted (in front of the other parents again I might add) that WM had a bad day and threw a fit and wouldn’t share the mallets when they were playing with the bells. I apologized for his behavior and he was punished when he got home. A stern lecture, no toys, no TV, and a spanking for starting again when he got home. He has been on good behavior since then and hasn’t even gotten in trouble at school. I thought that the worse was behind us. Then there was last night. We stayed for Wednesday night supper at the church before choir. After they ate their chicken nuggets, chips and cake I sent them on their way and reminded WM that he had to be good and share. He said ok and off he went. I decided to hang around and take a few peeks to see what was going on in the class room. I noticed that Ms. “Priss-pot” teacher that obviously doesn’t like my son was chatting away with the other teacher for a good portion of the class. Curious, I got up to see what was going on. By the time I peeked, they had started singing. All the children were sitting on the floor singing and doing hand movements. All of them except my son. He was crawling on the chairs and not participating at all. Drama Queen noticed that I was watching and waved and WM noticed too and sat in the chair and looked at me. I waited a few minutes and then snuck around to another side of the window so they couldn’t see me. Again, the same thing except this time WM looked like he was about to cry and very unhappy. And where were any of the teachers? Totally ignoring him. There are three in the class and there might have been 10 children in there ranging in age from 3-5. Of course at the end of class she was waiting for me. She told me that he isn’t participating and is a real distraction to the other children and maybe it would be better if he didn’t participate in the choir this year. She went on to say that DQ might even listen better if he wasn’t there. I apologized for his behavior and told her we wouldn’t be back. I hate to say it, but she looked relieved. I tried to remain calm and not let it bother me, but the longer I sit and think about it the angrier I get. I understand that he can be a handful. He is all boy all the time. He doesn’t like to sit still and isn’t happy unless he has something in his hands. But as a parent, I am severly disappointed that the leaders of the class (I just can’t call them teachers when they are obviously not trained as such) don’t have the will or skills necessary to help my child succeed. I did not witness any attempt to make him feel comfortable in the class or to get him interested in what they were doing. They might have tried, but it didn't appear that way to me. Would it have killed them to sit on the floor with him and make it a little more exciting for him? I would have been more than happy to sit in the class and try to get him to participate and enjoy the class. Instead, I feel like the main leader had made up her mind weeks ago that she didn’t want to be bothered with him. I emailed the music director and told her we were pulling out of the class and the reason why. I haven’t heard back from her yet. Am I wrong to be upset? If I am that’s ok, I can take it. What would you have done? It breaks my heart that yet again someone is pushing my son away. No wonder he has a hard time sometimes. All his life he has gotten pushed to the side so that my daughter could get all the attention and it isn’t fair. He is not a bad little boy. He is sweet and sensitive. But he is also a typical three year old boy. He is rough, rowdy, and loud. I can’t say that he never misbehaves because lord knows he does. But all he needs is a little attention and he is an angel. If he was that bad then the teachers at this daycare would love on him as much as he does. They all tell me how sweet he is. I even asked his new teacher, Ms. Debbie, if he say still and participated in story time and music and she said he always listens and loves to participate on music days. I am just at a loss. I was so looking forward to watching them sing in the Christmas play and the Spring musical. I know that I wanted them to be in it probably more than they want to at this point, but I want them to both be active and well rounded children. It is just so frustrating. Grrr….. And on top of that the whole family went to church last Sunday and felt shunned there as well. When we went to drop the kids off at the nursery at 10:45 am for the 11am service (I wasn’t going to try to make them sit through until the Children’s Message) we were told that they couldn’t go in a certain classroom that was clearly full of children their age and had to stand around and wait until they figured out where they were supposed to be. We haven’t been active in the church since we joined, but we go every once in awhile. One of the most important reasons we joined the church was so that the kids would have the opportunity to do things in the church. Well, obviously that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. We haven’t found anyone or any group that we feel is a good fit either. AM and I discussed re-visiting our old church to see if things had improved any. At least there we didn’t feel like we didn’t belong. It just sucks to have to start over yet again.

Labels: Church, Wildman