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About Me

Name: Elleoz

From: Fort Mill, South Carolina, United States

I am 32 years old and have been married for 6 years. I had two children under 2 (hence the blog name), but now they are actually 3 and 2. Maybe it is time to change the blog name? Drama Queen is 3 and Wildman is 2 (15 months apart to be exact). I have a Bachelor's Degree on Criminal Justice from Applachian State University (Go Apps!) and have been at my current place of employment for going on 7 years.

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    Friday, July 21, 2006
    How Do You Feel?
    I stumbled across this blog the other day.

    As a mother of two young children I definately have body issues. This is compounded by that fact that I am almost 4 years post-op from gastric bypass surgery. Weight gain is a terrifying thought for someone that has lost 150+ pounds. Believe me!

    With my daughter I only gained about 35 pounds and lost all of it within 6 months of having her. I thought...this isn't so bad. Due to the already loose skin, I had no stretch marks and my muscles weren't any worse for the wear really. No worries I thought.

    Six months after my daughter I received the biggest surprise of my life so far. I was pregnant with my son! Shocker to say the least. With my son I gained almost 65 pounds and I have yet to loose the majority of it. I am ashamed of myself and my body at this point. But mostly ashamed of myself. I went through way too much to get where I was before the babies to be that morbidly obese again.

    My husband can't understand why I can't loose the weight. He can't understand why I don't want sex. I feel so totally unsexy right now. You try looking in the mirror and seeing the person that you NEVER wanted to become again.

    The Shape of a Mother lets me know that I am not alone. Other women feel just like me. Other women look as bad, if not worse than I do. Other women are way braver than me for posting their "battle scars" for all to see. Maybe some day I will get up the nerve to tell my story, but I applaud those women that wear their scars with honor. You are an inspiration.

      posted at 7/21/2006 01:57:00 PM

    At Friday, July 21, 2006 2:37:00 PM, Blogger CPA Mom said...

    You are not alone. I will never forget the shame I felt when I checked into the hospital to deliver Tigger (navy hospital so it was a doctor I had never met before) and she wrote "Obese woman" on my chart. And I was pregnant! Sigh. I still feel the shame. I lost the baby weight 5 months after Tigger, then 1 month after Eeyore but it's been slowly creeping back on. I'm at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. My husband doesn't get it either that I don't want to have sex and I can't understand why he would want to either. He is the heaviest I've ever seen him either. Those woman on that blog are so brave!

    At Friday, July 21, 2006 5:15:00 PM, Blogger Glamorous Redneck said...

    It is so tough to deal with post baby bodies! Especially for someone in your situation that has already taken a major step to lose so much weight!

    One of my (guy) friends made a comment the other day about us. He said "I think there should be a law passed that women should be allowed to be just as they are after pregnancy and have it be a medal of honor for motherhood." Then I looked at him funny and he didn't understand. The thing with the guys in our lives is that they don't always see what we see. And it's just further proof that we harp too much stigma on ourselves to look a certain way. So I guess that's a guys perspective about our bodies, but I'm with you. I cannot feel sexy if I'm not happy with myself.


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