Friday, July 21, 2006
How Do You Feel?
I stumbled across this blog the other day.
As a mother of two young children I definately have body issues. This is compounded by that fact that I am almost 4 years post-op from gastric bypass surgery. Weight gain is a terrifying thought for someone that has lost 150+ pounds. Believe me!
With my daughter I only gained about 35 pounds and lost all of it within 6 months of having her. I thought...this isn't so bad. Due to the already loose skin, I had no stretch marks and my muscles weren't any worse for the wear really. No worries I thought.
Six months after my daughter I received the biggest surprise of my life so far. I was pregnant with my son! Shocker to say the least. With my son I gained almost 65 pounds and I have yet to loose the majority of it. I am ashamed of myself and my body at this point. But mostly ashamed of myself. I went through way too much to get where I was before the babies to be that morbidly obese again.
My husband can't understand why I can't loose the weight. He can't understand why I don't want sex. I feel so totally unsexy right now. You try looking in the mirror and seeing the person that you NEVER wanted to become again.
The Shape of a Mother lets me know that I am not alone. Other women feel just like me. Other women look as bad, if not worse than I do. Other women are way braver than me for posting their "battle scars" for all to see. Maybe some day I will get up the nerve to tell my story, but I applaud those women that wear their scars with honor. You are an inspiration.
As a mother of two young children I definately have body issues. This is compounded by that fact that I am almost 4 years post-op from gastric bypass surgery. Weight gain is a terrifying thought for someone that has lost 150+ pounds. Believe me!
With my daughter I only gained about 35 pounds and lost all of it within 6 months of having her. I thought...this isn't so bad. Due to the already loose skin, I had no stretch marks and my muscles weren't any worse for the wear really. No worries I thought.
Six months after my daughter I received the biggest surprise of my life so far. I was pregnant with my son! Shocker to say the least. With my son I gained almost 65 pounds and I have yet to loose the majority of it. I am ashamed of myself and my body at this point. But mostly ashamed of myself. I went through way too much to get where I was before the babies to be that morbidly obese again.
My husband can't understand why I can't loose the weight. He can't understand why I don't want sex. I feel so totally unsexy right now. You try looking in the mirror and seeing the person that you NEVER wanted to become again.
The Shape of a Mother lets me know that I am not alone. Other women feel just like me. Other women look as bad, if not worse than I do. Other women are way braver than me for posting their "battle scars" for all to see. Maybe some day I will get up the nerve to tell my story, but I applaud those women that wear their scars with honor. You are an inspiration.
1 Comments:
It is so tough to deal with post baby bodies! Especially for someone in your situation that has already taken a major step to lose so much weight!
One of my (guy) friends made a comment the other day about us. He said "I think there should be a law passed that women should be allowed to be just as they are after pregnancy and have it be a medal of honor for motherhood." Then I looked at him funny and he didn't understand. The thing with the guys in our lives is that they don't always see what we see. And it's just further proof that we harp too much stigma on ourselves to look a certain way. So I guess that's a guys perspective about our bodies, but I'm with you. I cannot feel sexy if I'm not happy with myself.
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