Tuesday, January 16, 2007
I'm So Torn
As you know I recently got a puppy. I am ashamed to say this but I think I might have made a mistake. I really don't think that he is a good match for my family. He is a perfect match for me, but that is the problem really. He wants nothing to do with anyone else but me. When we decided to get a dog, it was with the understanding that it would be a family dog. But Bart won't let AlphaMale do anything with him. Bart will let him pet him, and will sometimes play with him but that's where it ends. He refuses to walk on a leash for him (he goes well for me) so AM can't take him out for walks. This weekend we took the kids and Bart to the park for a walk. He is afraid of everyone (people and dogs alike). We also let him out at the end of Drama Queen's birthday party and he didn't warm up to anyone over the course of an hour. I just don't know what to do.
I feel so guilty. I love the little guy I do. He loves me like no other dog I have ever had. Almost to the point of exhaustion. If I am not in his sight at all times he acts miserable. And the kids aren't really into him. They aren't really scared of him anymore, but they don't interact with him (as he doesn't interact with them either). I feel bad about him being in a crate all day while I am at work. And when I am home, it is so diffucult to juggle providing care and attention to both the puppy and the kids. We bought a kennel for outside, but he hates it out there too. He will whine and cry off and on the entire time he is out there.
And I can't help but worry that it will always be like this. Our plans were to basically take the dog anywhere and everywhere that we go. That wouldn't be an issue if I could leave his sight, but I just can't imagine taking him to NY this summer and having to deal with him and the kids camping for a week. I think my main problem is his inability to bond with anyone else in the family. If I was single, he would be perfect. However, I am not and that won't ever change.
The thought of giving him away brings me to tears. On one hand I really want to keep him. He is almost housebroken (he will not mess in his crate, and will go to the door when he wants out provided you take him out immediately). Alot of the issues can be corrected with training, and I know that. But his personality won't change. The breeder instilled this insecurity in him. When combined with the tendencies of the breed, I just don't know if I am the right person for this puppy.
I also know that I didn't remember how much work and money went into having a puppy either. I like my independence, and having this puppy is like having another child. And due to his anxiety, I can't leave him with a family member if we went somewhere that we couldn
t take him. Which means that I would have to board him. And I don't really have the money to do that on a regular basis either. I'm not sure that I was ready for that. That is selfish I know. I think that is why I feel so bad. He is a good dog and he deserves a happy and loving home.
I know the longer I keep him the harder it is going to be on both of us. And you know that just as soon as I get so frustrated with him that I can't stand it, he is a good boy and does something cute. So what should I do? What would you do in this situation? Ever had anything like this happen to you before?
I feel so guilty. I love the little guy I do. He loves me like no other dog I have ever had. Almost to the point of exhaustion. If I am not in his sight at all times he acts miserable. And the kids aren't really into him. They aren't really scared of him anymore, but they don't interact with him (as he doesn't interact with them either). I feel bad about him being in a crate all day while I am at work. And when I am home, it is so diffucult to juggle providing care and attention to both the puppy and the kids. We bought a kennel for outside, but he hates it out there too. He will whine and cry off and on the entire time he is out there.
And I can't help but worry that it will always be like this. Our plans were to basically take the dog anywhere and everywhere that we go. That wouldn't be an issue if I could leave his sight, but I just can't imagine taking him to NY this summer and having to deal with him and the kids camping for a week. I think my main problem is his inability to bond with anyone else in the family. If I was single, he would be perfect. However, I am not and that won't ever change.
The thought of giving him away brings me to tears. On one hand I really want to keep him. He is almost housebroken (he will not mess in his crate, and will go to the door when he wants out provided you take him out immediately). Alot of the issues can be corrected with training, and I know that. But his personality won't change. The breeder instilled this insecurity in him. When combined with the tendencies of the breed, I just don't know if I am the right person for this puppy.
I also know that I didn't remember how much work and money went into having a puppy either. I like my independence, and having this puppy is like having another child. And due to his anxiety, I can't leave him with a family member if we went somewhere that we couldn
t take him. Which means that I would have to board him. And I don't really have the money to do that on a regular basis either. I'm not sure that I was ready for that. That is selfish I know. I think that is why I feel so bad. He is a good dog and he deserves a happy and loving home.
I know the longer I keep him the harder it is going to be on both of us. And you know that just as soon as I get so frustrated with him that I can't stand it, he is a good boy and does something cute. So what should I do? What would you do in this situation? Ever had anything like this happen to you before?
3 Comments:
I sympathize. I see your dilemma. We got our son (aged 8 at the time) a puppy. This was a big mistake. We still have her. Personally, I feel like we have a commitment to keep her. (Plus, it would break said son's heart if we had given her away.) That said, she is two years old and SO much better than a year ago.
Like many situations in life, this is a decision only you can best make for your family. I agree that the sooner you decide, the easier it will be.
What a tough situation to find yourself in.
Would you be able to find this puppy a new home and ensure that he was placed with a good family?
Are you able to give it some time to see if things improve?
I don't know for sure what I'd do in this situation.
Best of luck!
Nancy~ I feel the same way to a point, but I don't think that it is fair to the dog either if it isn't working out. I just want to make sure that I am doing the best thing for both my family and the dog. The kids are still young enough that I don't think they will really notice.
Overwhelmed!~ I would get him the best home I could. I am not going to hand him over to just anyone. But it is breakinh my heart so we might give him a little more time. We are actually having a trainer come over tomorrow and evaluate him. Then we will make a decision. If I knew that we could work with him and get him over the separation anxiety (at least to a whimper anyway) and get him to mind my husband then I think he would be an excellent dog. But I can't have a dog that refuses to do anything for anyone but myself.
Thanks to both of you for stopping by. I hope to see you around again soon.
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