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About Me

Name: Elleoz

From: Fort Mill, South Carolina, United States

I am 32 years old and have been married for 6 years. I had two children under 2 (hence the blog name), but now they are actually 3 and 2. Maybe it is time to change the blog name? Drama Queen is 3 and Wildman is 2 (15 months apart to be exact). I have a Bachelor's Degree on Criminal Justice from Applachian State University (Go Apps!) and have been at my current place of employment for going on 7 years.

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  • Finding Yourself Despite Yourself
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  • What I Am Reading

    What I Am Listening To

    Thursday, August 17, 2006
    Weight Loss Surgery Failure
    As I have posted previously, I had gastric bypass surgery in May 2002 and lost 150 pounds up until getting pregnant with both my children.

    Weight issues and weight loss seem to be a commen theme around the blogs that I read on a daily basis. Like here, here, and here. Everywhere I look there are blog stating that they need to lose weight. Made me think that maybe this was a sign that I needed to get off my lazy ass and do something about my current state of blubber.

    I will say now that I weight @ 265 (Ouch, that hurt) and I must lose it. I was almost at a point pre-babies that I felt good about myself. Now I am in a constant state of annoyance and disgust. I try not to let it over-take me but I can't seem to get out of this rut I am in. I have always said that I want to weigh under 200. I don't really care if it is 199 or 170, just somewhere under 200. I haven't seen that in a long time. I would love to be at 180, but I will take baby steps.

    Some people may think 180 is a lot of weight and it may be, but I will be happy if I get there. I won't be in plus sized clothes anymore if I get there. I am a "shapely" woman so I carry my weight well, or so I have been told. I am 5'9" tall so height is on my side as well.

    At my lowest weight after the surgery I wore a 16-18W pant and a 14-16W top. I am now in a 22W pant and a 18 top. I kept telling myself..."I just had a baby". Well, that baby is now 16 months old. I have turned back into the emotiona junk food eating slob of yesteryear and I am sick of it. I vow that I am going to do something about it and soon.

    I also wonder if it is possible to have PPD past a year. I can't remember a day when I haven't cried at least once since the birth of my son. I have seen two counselors and neither has seemed all that concerned, but it things haven't improved wouldn't you say something is going on. I don't want to rely on a pill to solve my problems, but at the same time I am wondering if being prescribed something just might help, even for a little while. But who do I talk to about this? What do I say?

    Anyway, I have always admired Carnie Wilson (of Wilson Phillips & now Celebrity Fit Club fame). She had the surgery about a year ahead of me and I always looked to her as hope and inspiration. And now to see that she has gained weight too has shown me that the surgery is defineatly not a fix all. I knew it wouldn't be but getting rid of old habits is hard! It also doesn't help that SIL#1 had the surgery a year ago and went from a size 24/26 to a Size 4/6. I am very proud of her, but I am the fat one again and that sucks! I have been watching Carnie on Fit Club and watching her has helped me realize that I need to take control again.

    Alpha Male and I are going to start the diet Dr. Ian from the show has most of them doing, the Fat Smasher Diet. It is a lot like the South Beach Diet, but so more doable for me. The first 9 days (Detox) you can basically have nothing but fruits and vegetables, but after that you start to add healthy foods and meats back. After 90 days, you have retrained your mind and body to think and eat healthy. And it doens't take away everything you ever crave. Everything in moderation. And the testimonials on the website are truly amazing. I am excited to start, but I'm not sure if I should start it now, or wait until I get back from my vacation in a few weeks?

    What do you think? Should I start now or wait? Want to join me?

      posted at 8/17/2006 11:54:00 AM

    At Thursday, August 17, 2006 12:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I think that's so great that you are going to start the Fat Smash. I just started it too. I love Carnie as well and am truly inspired by her watching Fit Club. I would love to do this with you and be support partners if you're interested.

    As for when to start it, it's always better sooner rather than later. However, if you already have it planned in your head that you are going to eat crap on vacation, then you might as well wait until you get back.

    I don't know if it would be helpful for you, but I have found that keeping a spreadsheet of what I eat and my weekly weigh in numbers has been very helpful keeping me on track. You can do it!

    At Friday, August 18, 2006 9:05:00 AM, Blogger Karen Rani said...

    I'm waiting until September 5th to re-start my daily walking. I'll join you if you want!

    At Friday, August 18, 2006 3:36:00 PM, Blogger CPA Mom said...

    OMG, I LOVE THE NEW LOOK!!! You are so talented. Love, love, love it.

    As for your post. You are SO brave to put this all out there. Let me share with YOU then. I am 224. Still. I too want to get under 200, even if only 199. But 180 is the perfect weight for me at 5'10" so I know EXACTLY what you mean. At 180, I'm 16W which is good for me. Right now I'm 22W bottom, 20W top. Used to be larger on top but I had a breast reduction surgery. I'm not sure on the PPD question but you definitely could be having good old regular depression (clinical, situational, whatever). Go to another counseler. Do not accept what the others have said if YOU KNOW IN YOUR GUT something is wrong. Sometimes a mild anti-depressant for just a while is just what you need. Sometimes your regular GP will prescribe that for you. Or you OBGYN. Wait until you get back from vacation for the diet. Have your last harrah. You will probably find that you won't eat as much as you expect anyway.

    At Monday, August 21, 2006 12:52:00 PM, Blogger Amy W said...

    I am with you on the new diet, I signed up for Weight Watchers last week.

    I love the new site!!

    At Monday, August 21, 2006 5:58:00 PM, Blogger Stephanie A. said...

    Good for you for taking the step. It is so hard to do when you have a family, I know, but I know you can do it!

    As for PPD- I think I have had it for the last 2 months and my son is nearing his first birthday. I started Wellbutrin and while I know it cannot solve all of my problems, it has helped my head clear so that I can start to work on them instead of wallow.

    Good luck to you and I'll stay tuned to how you are doing!

    At Saturday, August 26, 2006 3:43:00 PM, Blogger panthergirl said...

    Don't be afraid to seek medication for PPD... it's a very real thing (despite what Tom Cruise thinks!) and there is no time limit for it. See a therapist (not a counselor) who can recommend a psychiatrist who can prescribe for you.

    Medication saved my life when I became depressed as a result of the onset of menopause. Depression isn't "sadness"... it's a real, physical, condition that requires treatment.

    It may also help with your efforts to lose weight, if you're feeling better mentally! Good luck.


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