Tuesday, August 29, 2006
So Much It Hurts
Sorry I have been MIA for awhile. Between getting ready to leave for my vacation and missing Drama Queen I have been busy as a little bee.
Speaking of...I have been trying to keep myself as busy as possible so that the time away from DQ will go faster. Up until last night I thought I was doing pretty good. I had shed a few tears here and there, but for the most part I was enjoying the time with Wild Man and having a somewhat quieter house.
But that all changed last night for some reason. What prompted it I am not absolutely sure, but all I know is that I miss my little girl so much now that it physically hurts. All I want to do is cry. I want to leave RIGHT NOW to go see her. But I still have 2 more days. Last night I didn't get to say more than two words to her. I think that was the breaking point.
She was tired and in a foul mood. I can tell that the novelty of "camping with maw-maw and pop-pop" is wearing off for her. I can tell she is tired. I can tell she wants her Mommy and Daddy. I know that Mommy wants her. But how do you make a two year old understand just a few more days? I'm just ready to get there already.
It doesn't help that if it wasn't for this stupid meeting that I have Thursday afternoon, that we could be on the road tomorrow night. But I have to be here for it. I keep telling myself that. But I am very sad and nothing is going to change that.
Oh, and I have to add that Alpha Male is an insensitive boob! Last night I came to bed crying. All I wanted to do is be held and comforted for a little while without having to "instruct" him to do so. This all translated to him that I wanted a little action. So here he is rubbing and molesting me all the while I have tears running down my cheeks and I am holding back to sobs that I fee.l. The last thing on my mind was sex. And then he gets all mad about it. Men are so freaking clueless sometimes. I am dreading going home. Maybe I'll just cook dinner and go to bed. Fake a migrane of something?
Anyway, tomorrow is Wildman's eye appointment. Keep your fingers crossed that we don't have to patch anymore. He and I are both sick to death of it.
Speaking of...I have been trying to keep myself as busy as possible so that the time away from DQ will go faster. Up until last night I thought I was doing pretty good. I had shed a few tears here and there, but for the most part I was enjoying the time with Wild Man and having a somewhat quieter house.
But that all changed last night for some reason. What prompted it I am not absolutely sure, but all I know is that I miss my little girl so much now that it physically hurts. All I want to do is cry. I want to leave RIGHT NOW to go see her. But I still have 2 more days. Last night I didn't get to say more than two words to her. I think that was the breaking point.
She was tired and in a foul mood. I can tell that the novelty of "camping with maw-maw and pop-pop" is wearing off for her. I can tell she is tired. I can tell she wants her Mommy and Daddy. I know that Mommy wants her. But how do you make a two year old understand just a few more days? I'm just ready to get there already.
It doesn't help that if it wasn't for this stupid meeting that I have Thursday afternoon, that we could be on the road tomorrow night. But I have to be here for it. I keep telling myself that. But I am very sad and nothing is going to change that.
Oh, and I have to add that Alpha Male is an insensitive boob! Last night I came to bed crying. All I wanted to do is be held and comforted for a little while without having to "instruct" him to do so. This all translated to him that I wanted a little action. So here he is rubbing and molesting me all the while I have tears running down my cheeks and I am holding back to sobs that I fee.l. The last thing on my mind was sex. And then he gets all mad about it. Men are so freaking clueless sometimes. I am dreading going home. Maybe I'll just cook dinner and go to bed. Fake a migrane of something?
Anyway, tomorrow is Wildman's eye appointment. Keep your fingers crossed that we don't have to patch anymore. He and I are both sick to death of it.
1 Comments:
I'm sorry that you are going through so much right now. I'm assuming that your daughter is home with you by now. I haven't seen you around for awhile, and hope you are doing okay... I will keep you and your family in my thoughts...
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