I am a member of an online "Mommies" group. Horrible, I know. As I have written about before, I am not good at making friends anymore and am so busy that it is just hard to meet new people. Part of it is my fault too since I have a hard time maintaining friendships and keeping in touch too. So a year or so ago I joined this group of local Mothers thinking that surely I would connect with someone. Anyone.

I have met several wonderful people and there are a few ladies that have great potential. But I still don't have any "friends". Try as I might, I never get a response when I throw an invitation to do something out there. There is nothing like the feeling of rejection over the internet. Makes me feels like a big time loser. I have gone to a select few things, but I didn't feel like I fit. Sure I chatted with other ladies and enjoyed some refreshments while the kids played, but I felt like an outsider. Like I wasn't one of them. Does that make sense?

I hate to state a cliche', but women truly can be catty and clicky. I have noticed that those "Mommies" that can stay home and go to all of the playdates, MNO's, etc all hang out and have a grand old time. Those of us that can't come to stuff except on occassion are bascially shunned. They are nice to our faces so to speak, as in on the threads, but as soon as we ask for some company there's nothing. NADA. I would rather not be treated like a leaper thank you.

Recently, I started my Pampered Chef business. I won't lie, I was hoping that I could use the "group" as a spring board to get some leads and maybe make a few friends in the process. I have seen a few other Mom's hosting PC shows, so I figured they were already receptive to the whole thing. So I sent out an invitation to anyone who wanted to come and only one person showed up. One (and her mother in law). *Thanks T for coming. It was great to see you again and I really appreciate it.* No one else even entertained the idea. Fine, whatever. What cuts is that another member is hosting a party in two weeks and has about 15 people coming. If we were in the same location then I would understand since it would be too close proximity and time. I know of a dozen members that live literally 2 miles from my house. However, it is a good 10-15 miles away. I just feel shunned. again. Maybe it just was bad timing. Who knows.

I made the comment to T that I wasn't popular enough for people to come I guess. I understand that those people that get together often will start their own little group, but how am I supposed to join in when everything is either not interesting to me, out of my price range, or during times that I can not participate? It is beyond frustrating and I refuse to allow myself to feel bad about it. I am thinking about leaving the group all together. If it wasn't for the fact that I get leads for my cakes, I'd delete the account today.

I just can't win. Maybe I'll just become a hermit.

Labels: friends, popularity